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random_ian's Journal  I hate myself, and I'm going to hell Current mood:  listless.Current music: None. Okay, so I havent updated this thing in a while, so here are some good and bad things that have been going on. (+)I got a job at Publix (+)I got a car (-)I now have to worry about car insurance (-/+)I like someone (-) They don't like me the way I wished they would (+)I still have a 4.0 at BCC (-)I have a D in Chemistry (+)FCAT writes is over and done with (-)We still have a total of 3 more tests to take (+)Working at Publix is getting me in better shape (-)The pay isnt that good yet, but it will get better soon :) (+)I think I may actually be able to get an A in Geometry this semester (-)Mrs Minor (+)Ms Moore (she's awesome, I don't care what you guys say, she's a great English teacher. (+)Im dropping all of that weight I gained over winter break (+)So far this month (Feb) I've learned 6 new songs on the guitar (+)Dr Stein's Psychology class (+)Feeling better about life in general (-)Some skeletons are coming out of the closet to haunt me Much Love All Current mood:  cheerful.Current music: Bob Dylan-Bob Dylan. This week was awesome, so many good things happened, and this weekend should be pretty awesome as well. Monday was my first day back at BCC after the holidays. I had Astronomy, and it was pretty decent, if not a tad.....in depth. I think it'll be a good class though, if I'm able to stay awake. On tuesday, I had Psychology I, which so far, has been my favorite class. The professor is probobly one of the funniest, coolest, most laid back people ever which is sure to make for a decent class. On a different note, I finally got a job! Publix called me on monday, and told me that I could come in any time to do my drug test, so needless to say, I went right away and got it over with. Finally, they called yesterday and said I needed to come by to pick up a training packet, uniforms, and my schedule. I was so stoked that someone finally hired me I just about lost it lol. Anyway, I go in on saturday for Orientation/Training, and I start working at Post Commons on Monday as a bagger. So yeah, this week was awesome :) Current mood: happy.Current music: The Who-The Who Sell Out. Today sucked. I woke up this morning at 5:30 with some stomach thing. I feel like crap. The only plus out of this whole thing is that I got to sleep till noon, and skip school, which is always cool. I actually feel okay now, so I'll probobly be there tomorrow, just behind in all my classes, which isnt really a big deal. I suppose I should do what everyone else seems to have done, and say something about New Year's resolutions. Mine are as follows: 1. Get a job 2. Get a car 3. Save up $1,000 4. Excercise more, and eat less crap Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on... Current mood:  sick.Current music: The White Album- The Beatles. I should have known you'd bid me farewell There's a lesson to be learned from this and I learned it very well Now, I know you're not the only starfish in the sea If I never hear your name again, it's all the same to me And I think it's gonna be alright Yeah, the worst is over now The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball You never care for secrets I confide For you, I'm just an ornament, somethin' for your pride Always runnin', never carin', that's the life you live Stolen minutes of your time were all you had to give And I think it's gonna be alright Yeah, the worst is over now The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball The story's in the past with nothin' to recall I've got my life to live and I don't need you at all The roller-coaster ride we took is nearly at an end I bought my ticket with my tears, that's all I'm gonna spend And I think it's gonna be alright Yeah, the worst is over now The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball Oh, I think it's gonna be alright Yeah, the worst is over now The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball Current mood: optimistic.Current music: The Cyrkle- Hits From The Cyrkle. My Christmas totally owned! Despite a few last minute issues, everything came together perfectly, and I think that everyone else's Christmas was as awesome as mine was. Everyone keeps asking me what all I got, and I figure rather than tell everyone the same think around 40 times, I'll just make it into a post. -A black Fender Squier electric guitar -A Crosley suitcase turntable (Hey, everyone knows that records are cooler than CD's) -A new pair of Levis -An ipod car kit for my "Invisible and absent to the touch" car -The three old Star Wars movies on DVD -Psycho -The Ring 2 -Franny and Zooey -Naked by David Sedaris -Cyrano de Bergerac- a french play from the early 19th century that made me laugh so hard I cried. -New Moccasins -A mall gift card -The Best of The Byrds -The Beatles' White Album -CHIPMUNK CHRISTMAS -Life's Lessons according to Mr. Rogers So yeah, thats what I got, but we all know that Christmas is about so much more than material things. I think this is the first year that that was relevant to my Christmas, just because I felt so much closer to my mom and my brothers than I have in the past, and the fact that dad didnt get drunk and pass out on the couch... I hope that everyone's Christmases brought them a lot of joy, and look forward to seeing you all back at school/youth/church/wherever I see you. Solo Deo Gloria Current mood: cheerful.Current music: The Chipmunks' Christmas Album. Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight... Current mood:  contemplative.Current music: Christmas with Elvis. Well, after 12 months of anticipation, build up, and waiting, Christmastime is here. Meaning that people flock to stores to spend exeuberant amounts of money on gifts that will by next year, lie unused and forgotten in the bottom of closets and drawers. Such is life. However, before I can think of presents and trees and parties, I have to worry about projects, final grades, extra credit, and getting a job and a car. I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes you know? Its like everyone and everything is against me, and trying it's best to screw me up somehow. I know that sounds really dumb and paranoid, and that no one is out to screw me up, or get me, but it sure feels like it. I have so much that I need to accomplish in the next three weeks for school, that I'm starting to get overwhelmed. I have a forty hour online class that the fine folks at EGHS didnt tell me about until this past week, and that is due at the end of term, which I havent even started. I have a book report for English that is due next monday, as well as a speech that I have to help prepare, which is also due on monday. And in addition to that I have another BlahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAHH NO MORE NO MORE. It sucks, and I'm not trying to be emo or anything, eventhough I ALWAYS come off that way. Another milestone that is vastly approaching (a week from wednsday in fact) would be my driving test. I'm not worried about that too much, but I'm still a bit nervous. I'm more worried about how I'm going to be able to afford to pay for gas, and insurance, and all of the other wonderful car things that I'll need to worry about. My uncle, being how he is, gave the van away, so now I have no car at all, looks like I'll be driving my mom's van for awile :( On a much more serious note, we found out that my Grandma(the one I live with)has breast cancer, I really cant bring myself to say anything else about it, I'm just really thankful that they caught it so early. I pray that it will be alright, and that they'll be able to get rid of it. Our Father, who art in Heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy kingdom come Thy will be done On Earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day, our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil For thine is the Kingdom And the power And the glory Forever and ever Amen Remember that last part please, and remember that He fixes EVERYTHING I've been so busy this past week with school, and BCC, and just other random stuff that kind of just decided to happen that I've neglected to update this journal as often as I should. Yesterday I had to give a speech on why it is important to not use your cell phone when you drive. I dunno why I picked that topic, I kind of guess that it was just the first thing to come to mind. But the long and the short of it was that I think I did terribly. Which sadly enough, seems to be pretty descripive of school in general these days. I have a 3.6 GPA at BCC, and a 3.0 at EG, which may not sound bad for some of you, but is awful for me. I'm just so unmotivated these days, I fail to see the purpose in alot of the stuff that we've been doing in school, and being the lazy wise guy that I am, I'm not doing alot of it. Especially in Geometry and Chemistry. I totally bombed my Chemistry test, getting a 38 percent, which I'm afraid will lower my already low C in that class into the D area. something that hasnt happened to me since 4th grade. I know I should be concentrating more on school and less on other stuff, but with Christmas coming, and the fact that I'm supposed to get my liscense next month, I just have been sort of preoccupied. As i just said, I'm supposed to get my liscense in less than a month, I'm still a substandard driver, and I still have no job, which means no money to get insurance. I sort of have a car, but it's a piece of crap, and I kind of want to buy a new one as soon as I can simply for that reason. I figure if I get a job, and start saving that minus insurance and gas, I should be able to purchase a 3,000-5,000 car by next Christmastime, Kind of far off but soon enough for me. I also decided that in addition to sending out Christmas cards to practically everyone I know, I'm going to buy presents for a bunch of people too. They won't be expensive ones mind you, but they will be something. I have to figure out what I'm going to get my mom, she does so much for everyone else, and she's been through so much crap this past year that she deserves something really nice for Christmas. There is a part of me that's thinking I'm going to go over to the storage unit and get some of my dad's antiques to hawk at a pawnshop or something, but that would be kind of dishonest, and it really wouldnt be from me. I dunno, if anyone has any good ideas, let me know. Now it's time for everyone's favorite section of my posts, the part where I complain about girls, and how weird they are, and how bummed I am over a certain girl. You know, emo stuff like that haha. I'm actually not going to do that anymore, or try anyway. I don't have the hots for anyone right now, contrary to what you may have heard before. I'm single and kind of happy with it I guess, But I still want something more. But I guess you could call that human nature: The wanting of something that you can't have, or when you do have it, the quest for more. I had a very interesting conversation about that last night with one of my closest friends, and she said that she kind of knows how I feel. She knows who she is and I hope that if and when I find somebody, they can be like her. This weekend is my cousin Madison's 4th birthday party, which I promised her I would go to. As well as the Trinity Bratwurst cook out, which I promised my mom I would go to. And finally, the saturday evening production of "Rumors" at school, which I need to go to in order to obtain extra credit in English, and I still havent bought a ticket for it. Knowing me, I'll wait until the last minute, and they'll be sold out of them. But it's all good. I hope that everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving! Current mood:  sleepy.Current music: "Johnny Cash-At Folsom Prison" on my ipod. Well, I'm just sitting here at BCC in my Microcomputer Applications class, which BTW is boring, and no one in their right mind would every want to take. This evening is going to be rather hectic, first, I have to go with my mom and brothers to practice the tone chimes for Christmastime, which I'm absolutely terrified of by the way. Then, Pastor Moreno is taking some of the youth, including myself, to help clean up after this benifit thing at SUMC, which is supposed to go until eight, and lastly, I have to finish reading the chapter in MYTHOLOGY that I only half read last night. Talk about hectic. And for those of you who are interested, I STILL havent gotten any callbacks on the three job applications I put in. I'm thinking of calling tommorrow to see if they've all been looked at yet or not. I really really really really really really really really really really really really really realy do NOT want to work at McDonalds or something else equally disgusting, but If I have to in order to be able to drive.... which I do, then I guess I'd just have to deal with it. If anyone wants to hang out this weekend, let me know, but you'll have to pick me up because I won't have a ride. Wish me luck on my Credit by Exam test tommorrow ! Current mood:  bored.Current music: People Complaing and Working. |
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